Harvilla: вЂњI even got the cleaninвЂ™ staff plotting extortion on me.вЂќ вЂњI remember that I told you I miss you, that was kinda like a mass textвЂќ and вЂњMy losing nights are still a vibeвЂќ will show up in separate posts on my IG within the next week. Heifetz: Your Insta feed on Sunday will just be a couple pics with the caption вЂњcertified lover boy,вЂќ which is how you know thereвЂ™s no hits on this album.Д¬omer: CanвЂ™t stop/wonвЂ™t stop at one. Jenkins: IвЂ™m fairly certain вЂњIвЂ™ve been losinвЂ™ friends and findinвЂ™ peace, but honestly that sound like a fair trade to meвЂќ will top the Instagram caption charts, but if I could suggest an alternative: вЂњI remember that I told you I miss you, that was kinda like a mass text.вЂќ Please use this for your post-break-up glow-up selfie. I also expect to see, вЂњAnxietyвЂ™s a drug I use to get the job done,вЂќ and, вЂњKnew I needed love but I think I value the hate more.вЂќ Eventually I expect LeBron James to get tired of guests at his home asking to reenact, вЂњUp in Bron crib, fishbowl wineglasses.вЂќ James: I saw three instances of, вЂњIвЂ™ve been losinвЂ™ friends and findinвЂ™ peace,вЂќ on social media within an hour of the albumвЂ™s release. Sayles: вЂњHeart is on my sleeve and my body is in the hall of fame.вЂќ Honestly, who canвЂ™t relate? WhatвЂ™s the best Instagram caption on CLB?

Sayles: вЂњFucking FansвЂќ is a photocopy of a photocopy of a Drake song, with only the toxicity becoming clearer each time. Kermah: Without question, itвЂ™s gotta be вЂњGirls Want Girls.вЂќ IвЂ™m not trying to write a think piece on вЂњYeah, say that you a lesbian, girl, me too,вЂќ but Drake is getting too old to rap shit like this.Д¬omer: The closest IвЂ™ve come to a quick skip is вЂњKnife Talk,вЂќ which sounds like it belongs on Dark Lane Demo Tapes, not DrizzyвЂ™s first major release since 2018. I thought that it might be a sample of some viral вЂњHow to Make a Kid Cudi SongвЂќ video. IвЂ™ve been enjoying him all week on KanyeвЂ™s вЂњMoon.вЂќ But when вЂњIMY2вЂќ kicked in, it instantly sounded to me like a parody of a Kid Cudi song. Pryor: I know IвЂ™m tempting a swarm of millennial male angst with this but IвЂ™m gonna go with вЂњIMY2.вЂќ Drake does best with someone who covers up his own vocal limitations, which is, uh, not Cudi.

IвЂ™m shocked itвЂ™s not a song about how the maids are stealing his fine china. Harvilla: Just say no to Drake talking fake tough on a song called вЂњKnife TalkвЂќ in the year of our lord 2021. Jenkins: вЂњWay 2 Sexy.вЂќ What is that chorus? The Hollow Prestige of вЂCertified Lover BoyвЂ™ 3. You run into assholes all day? YouвЂ™re the asshole.вЂќ Rob Harvilla : To quote the great Raylan Givens, вЂњYou run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If youвЂ™re looking for Pop Drake, R&B Drake, or Dance Floor Drake, this isnвЂ™t the Drake album for you.ДЄric Jenkins : Listening to the opening track and thinking, Man, this is some вЂњTuscan LeatherвЂќ shit, is mostly a compliment but also a little damning. The bars here are more memorable than the songs. Matt James : If all you ever want out of Drake is for him to rap his damn ass off, youвЂ™re really going to enjoy CLB. But I have to dock some points for not giving a feature to fellow Kanye nemesis Soulja Boy. Jonathan Kermah: A less exhausting listening experience than Donda. It sounds like the final album in a trilogy with Take Care and Nothing Was the Same, and thatвЂ™s something to celebrate. Lex Pryor : DonвЂ™t worry вЂ¦ вЂ¦ DaddyвЂ™s home.Дan Comer: ItвЂ™s too early to say whether CLBвЂ™s a classic, but itвЂ™s certainly stronger than Views and Scorpion. Justin Sayles : WeвЂ™ve reached the point where Drake albums are no longer good or bad, theyвЂ™re just Drake albums: pretty good on first listen, worse on subsequent ones, too long, something to appeal to every type of listener. WhatвЂ™s your tweet-length review of Certified Lover Boy?Дanny Heifetz : A lot of feelings but not a lot of vibes. But was it worth the wait? The Ringer staff gives their initial reviews, debates who is winning the Drake-Kanye feud, and tries to figure out whether вЂњWay 2 SexyвЂќ is trash or classic. Nearly nine months after he promised to drop Certified Lover Boy, Drake has finally returned with his latest project.

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